You, money worries and taking action

Got money worries?

Ever had that thing when you have bad news, or something happens and your mind runs away?  I mean really runs away – where you think of the worse thing possible that could happen.

Our greatest fears direct these negative thoughts – where you convince yourself that you cannot resolve, or change the status quo and that you are doomed to the worst possible scenario, no matter what you do.  The overwhelm that goes with this type of spiraling, negative thinking is exhausting. You head to a dark place of thinking where you allow your mind to flow to all the things that you think are impossible, unreachable or unresolvable.

But there’s a reality here. That what you think MAY happen is just that – thoughts.  You need to be aware of how your mind is running away, and your subconscious is taking control.  Your reptilian brain starts shouting: “DANGER, DANGER” – but the reality is that unless you are in real physical danger or being chased by a bear – these reptilian-brain-induced thoughts aren’t helping you. Your brain is simply doing all it knows to do: react and send you into panic mode.

“But I have evidence” – you may claim. “I got a demand letter from the credit card company” or “I can’t afford to pay my bills this month.”

I’m not denying the situation – acknowledge it and then think about how you change it, redefine it in your mind and can take positive action.  I highlighted the word ‘action’ (yes, again for emphasis) because action is the way to resolve it – even though it may be tempting to take flight, hide, worry, cry, eat, drink – whatever coping mechanism you may turn to.

Because in the modern world any sense of panic, of ‘fight or flight’ doesn’t help when you are worried about certain things – money, for example.

For example if your worry is: “I got a demand letter from the credit card company.” When you have money troubles you can spend so much time focusing on lack, and beating yourself it will become exhausting. Just imagine how this could be the trigger where you change things around – but you need to stop defining yourself by what you see as lack. The first step to this is to STOP the doom-laden spiral thinking (you know where you picture everything getting worse, you losing everything, all your friends and family turn their backs to you, then your pet dog/cat/gerbil leaves you).  Instead think how this could be a turning point where you change things in your life – Disney, Hershey, Lincoln and Henry Ford each changed their lives after bankruptcy. 

When you stop and reflect, it is astonishing how controlled by our reactions we can be. But what is brilliant here is the ability to take back control – and to tell our mind how we want to react, process and change a situation.

If you want to re-write your money story, take charge and increase the money coming into your business – sign up for our 90-Day Brilliant Sales Challenge.  The next intake starts soon.

 

 

 

 

 

Dylan Thomas and fabric swatches (stop stopping yourself)

I spent a brilliant weekend at my brother’s wedding in London, where I was honored to be asked to do a reading. I wanted to read something to reflect our Welsh heritage. And as my new sister-in-law is a talented dressmaker, I picked a passage from Dylan Thomas’s “Under Milk Wood,” which shares the dreams of Mr. Mog Edwards, the town draper, and Miss Myfanwy Price, dressmaker and sweet-shop keeper.

To separate the two voices, I wanted to use props: a hot water bottle to represent Miss Price’s “lonely, loving hottwaterbottled body” and a book of material swatches for Mr. Mog Edwards. The first was an easy purchase, I just needed to find a clothing, dressmaker or furniture shop in Richmond-upon-Thames (a lovely area in London) that would lend me a swatch book.

So I set off to ask stores to help me. This is how it went:

No. 1 said they didn’t have material swatch books, and looked at me a little quizzically.  

No. 2 only sold completed pieces and didn’t have sample books, but suggested places I could try and gave me directions.

No. 3 was a very upscale store (to be honest, each store was, as it was Richmond-upon-Thames) with several store assistants that stood and watched me as I explained why I wanted to borrow a swatch book for 24 hours. One of the assistants then looked away from me, and actually started talking about me and my “stupid” request – while I was stood there – and then started sniggering, which seemed to encourage the other assistants to follow her lead. For a moment I felt embarrassed and silly, dismissed, with several people laughing at me.

This is a key moment: the point where you can stop. Whether it’s in sales and how you respond to a negative prospect, or anything that you want in life where you reach what could be interpreted as a roadblock and an inner voice says, “Well, that’s that then – at least you tried,” it’s the point where you give yourself permission to give up.

I shrugged my shoulders and went to No. 4, where the store manager couldn’t have been more helpful. He was intrigued by what I was reading that would involve a fabric swatch book as a prop, then showed me where they kept all their swatch books, gave me a choice of swatch books and wished me luck with the reading.

I did get a few odd looks as I stood up during the ceremony clutching a hot water bottle and a large swathe of fabrics, but the reading was well-received. 

The lesson? I could have stopped after store No. 3, feeling more than a little rejected, but able to comfort myself that I had tried.

Where do you stop? In life, in sales and in things that YOU want from your life, where do you stop out of fear of failure, of potential ridicule and with the self-affirmation “Well, at least I tried?”’

Imagine if you didn’t stop – and you pushed beyond the thing that you think may not work, or the thing that you think may make you look silly, or “fail.”

Want to ‘Stop Stopping?’ then why not check out my new training for individuals who want to shift behavior and shift results.

Eat the frog?

Mark Twain said that if you eat a live frog first thing in the morning that nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day. He’s also attributed with saying, “If your job is to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” So when we talk about frogs in our Frogs and Butterflies program, we’re talking about the tasks, things or commitments we know we need to pay attention to, but tend to delay, procrastinate, push back – or completely avoid altogether.

Getting the big, important, sometimes-scary things done first in your day, means several things:

–       You address them so they don’t fester, stay on your mind, cause worry or distract you

–        You feel like you achieved something right at the start of the day. Anyone who has ever exercised first thing in the morning will recognize the “I’ve achieved something and it’s not even 10-a.m. … let-me-polish-my-halo” feeling

–       That sense of achievement makes you feel like other things – bigger things – are possible

–       You continue to gather momentum

–       Fear is lost. When you address things you put off, then they simply don’t own you anymore

–       You think, and act, bigger

–       Your confidence in yourself grows

So, what’s stopping you today? Is there something on your to-do list that you regularly put off, or find yourself consistently moving to “tomorrow”? Is there something that you have a sense of dread in facing?

Do it now. Eat that frog.

Want some help? Then sign up for our Frogs & Butterflies program – we’ll help you eat those frogs and discover your butterflies!